My now husband, Derrik, and I decided to invite our closest friends and family to an engagement party. We told everybody that we were planning a fall wedding in Las Vegas, and that instead of trying to plan a reception in the cold, Minnesota winter, we would have a party before. Throughout our relationship we’d done a few things backwards, including moving in together after only six months of dating, planning and having our first child before we were married, and so having a big party months before the actual wedding only seemed natural. At first the plan really was Vegas, but then we realized there would be people who wouldn’t be able to attend that we really wanted to be there. Plus, getting married earlier in the year meant I’d be able to put Derrik on my awesome insurance through work, and we’d save a bunch of money. (How romantic, right?) That is how the idea of a surprise wedding was born.

Once we had decided to throw a surprise wedding we had to come up with a way to get people there, especially those we wanted to arrive early and be a part of the ceremony. We told those folks that since we weren’t going to have a big wedding, that we still wanted to do some photos, and asked them to wear black (so that we looked somewhat coordinated) and show up early. It worked! Then we asked our photographer friend, Amanda, to come and take pictures. She quit doing wedding photography, and I was so worried she’d be mad we duped her into one more, but she was a sport! I told her I wanted candid shots, nothing super formal, and she delivered. My only regret was not doing a few more family group shots, but it was kind of chaotic, and slipped my mind. I still have some awesome shots that captured the casual atmosphere and fun of the day.

The only people who knew that our engagement party was actually a wedding was the lead singer of the band we hired, and our officiant. Everybody else was in the dark until minutes before the ceremony. The logistics were a little challenging, and we were forced to do almost everything ourselves, but having gone through it there isn’t much we’d change.

In order to let everybody in on the secret we had a big sign made that said, “Welcome to our Wedding.” Most people missed the message, including Derrik’s dad, which was pretty funny. Once everything else was under way people got the message though. Me in a big white dress seemed to do the trick. The original plan was to use the banner as a guestbook, and have everybody sign it with sharpies, and then hang it up in the garage. Unfortunately that was a detail that was completely overlooked, and it’s still a blank canvas.

The wedding ceremony was supposed to be at our lake, which is across the road from our house. Everybody had gathered at our house throughout the day, and when we tried to get people to start migrating to the lake nobody would lead the charge. Derrik was starting to get visibly annoyed, so I told him that we’d skip the lake, and get married outside our front door in the pasture. Luckily it was early enough in the year that the cows weren’t there yet!

We considered hosting the whole event on our property, but knew that there would be an issue of shelter if we needed it, and getting enough electricity to power everything for the band, lights, etc. was going to be more of a challenge than we were up for. Luckily we have some pretty great neighbors who have a barn that they rent out for different events. It was perfect! Rustic and close to home. We were able to do all of the set up during the week of the wedding, which helped me keep my sanity, and saved us from having to get somebody else to do the decorating. My now mother-in-law and I spend an afternoon getting everything set up, and it turned out perfectly.

One of Derrik’s requests was to have a band at our wedding. I had no objections. He knows Larry, who is the lead guitarist for Nasty Habit, a local rock and roll band we love. Larry and company were available and because we hired them for an event in the off season we were able to get a really reasonable rate. They rocked, literally. (And I know how to use “literally” correctly!) We were so glad we splurged for live music.

We knew we didn’t want a big formal dinner, but that we wanted to feed our guests something good. We worked with Ben from Brink’s Beer Joint, our local watering hole, and came up with the idea to do a nacho bar. People could build their own nachos, and it was a hit. He also provided a full bar setup, which allowed everybody who wanted to indulge the opportunity to do so, and they did!

At the end of the night, the band and bar packed up and the true party animals came back to Octane Acres for the after party. We had a big campfire, music going in the garage, and partied into the wee hours of the morning. The day and night were perfect, and we’d do it all again.

If you’re planning on throwing a surprise wedding, or just trying to figure out a way to get married without breaking the bank or being super formal, here are my tips for you!

1. Work with your vendors

We came up with a budget and tried really hard to stick to it. By booking a band in their off season, working with our caterer to come up with an easy and budget friendly menu, and keeping our dollars local we were able to save money and still pull off an amazing party.

2. DIY Décor

I chose a Las Vegas theme, since that was the original plan, and got a bunch of easy décor from Amazon.com. I also rented a few things, including bar tables and tablecloths from a local company. I made my own centerpieces after looking up the how-to posts on Pinterest. I got some help with the execution the week of, and did as much as I could before hand.

3. Make Cupcakes

Rather than pay for a big pretty cake for one picture, I opted to make cupcakes myself. I over did it and we just finally ate the last of the ones I put in the freezer afterward. I got help with icing and sprinkles from my mother in law, too. It was a few hours and saved big.

4. Buy a dress off the rack

I was going to buy a dress from a second hand place, but they were about as expensive as I found a new one off the rack. This is the one area that I still went over budget on, especially after alterations, but it was beautiful and I wanted to feel and look good.

5. Keep it casual

We asked our groomsmen to wear jeans and a button up black shirt, and asked the bridesmaids to wear black as well. It was simple, easy, and inexpensive. In order to make everything look coordinated we purchased ties and shawls for everybody. It was inexpensive, and tied everything together really well.

6. Be prepared to make changes on the fly

Things didn’t go as we planned, but being willing to roll with the punches kept us from losing our minds. We had 11 inches of snow the week before our wedding and everything was muddy and wet, but we managed. People wouldn’t go to our chosen location for the ceremony, so we switched it. We had a playlist of our favorite songs to play between the wedding and the band that never got used.

7. Figure out how to get people there

This is where you get to be creative! Make sure it’s a big enough deal that those who are important still come. Understand that there are people who won’t come, and that is ok.